Ireland's Birth Story: Part 2-Home Birth

In my post, Ireland's Birth Story: Part 1, I left off with my water breaking Thursday evening, August 19th. Before I posted the rest of the story, I wanted to get my birth pictures to go with it. I'm sorry it has taken so long......

The next morning, I awoke and was surprised I didn't wake from contractions. I called Kelly to let her know nothing had happened and was quite disappointed. I, of course, had to be very careful with my water broken. We didn't want to introduce anything foreign that could cause infection and limit the amount of time I could go with my water broken. We didn't have any vaginal exams done, no public restrooms, wiping toilets at home if someone else had used them, etc. Jonathan and I went for walks, spent time with family, watched movies, and I bounced on my birthing ball...a lot! I had some contractions here and there and sometimes it would seem they were consistent for almost an hour and then would get erratic again. I went to bed again that night frustrated. Why wasn't this working the way I thought?

When Saturday morning rolled around, we decided to try and stimulate labor naturally. We used the breast pump and it worked GREAT! Contractions would come very well and get stronger. I was taking some herbal medications to help labor along, but after four hours of stimulation and a good long (and VERY hot) walk my contractions slowed down and were again all over the place. We of course always monitored the baby and I and everything was fine, but it just wasn't happening.

Around six Saturday evening, Kelly came in and had a talk with us. She told us if there was anything emotional holding us back that needed to be discussed we should lay it out. (As I've educated myself on birth, I know that emotions, life events, etc. can cause delayed labors and even complications) She left and JQ and I sat together and he asked me if there was anything wrong. I didn't think there was, but then I started crying my eyes out: "This isn't how I planned it, or how I wanted it to go. I'm so disappointed in myself and this slow process. It's taking so long and I don't understand why it's not happening." Then it hit me. "I feel pressure to perform. With everyone here, I know there is a dead line when they have to be home. I know that they think we are crazy for doing this and I want to show them what can be. I feel like I'm upsetting everyone. I need to be alone with just you and our family." Jonathan comforted me and we decided and agreed to send everyone to a different house, to have my parents bring Eviana back home, and for us to just relax, watch a movie and go on as if everything were normal. The minute everyone left and Eviana was home, I had my first real contraction and they came consistently and got stronger.

Ireland Rain Quillin: Born Sunday,
August 22, 2011 at 6:02am

We put Eviana to bed and called Kelly to let her know I was in active labor. The "rushes" continued and my husband and Kelly were right there to support me and keep me going. I was so tired by this point I had hardly any energy. I ate consistently to keep my energy up and I can't imagine how I would have done what I did in the hospital with NO food to give me strength. I'm not going to lie, labor was hard and it did hurt. I have to say though, it is the only pain that brought me joy. I knew with every contraction my baby was on its way into the world and the harder they became the sooner I would see her. I could feel my hips widening and the pressure of her moving down and there were times I wanted to cry, but I never did. I fell asleep in between almost every contraction the last several hours before her birth. The last part of labor was the hardest, of course, I started to lose control over the pain and found myself trying to reel myself back in. Kelly would gently say, "Say YES to your baby. Say Yes to Ireland. This is for her." Amazingly, these words worked very well.

When she realized I was close to or in transition we did the first vaginal exam. I was a 6 (where I had stalled out last time). I continued to labor and we checked again later and I was an 8. I decided I wanted to get in the birth pool at this point. It felt SO wonderful and relaxed me completely. I sat in the pool on my knees with my arms and head leaning over the side. I had a few more contractions and the water helped tremedously with them. I'm not sure how long I was in the pool, but it didn't feel like long until I felt a sudden and uncontrollable physiological pushing. I told Kelly and she told me to reach down and see if I could feel the baby. I did and I COULD! I felt her coming and couldn't believe it was time and I would see her soon. I started pushing with contractions, but my body did most of the work on its own.

Let me tell you, the "ring of fire" ain't no lie! It's hard to wrap your head around that sensation, but Kelly was there to coach me through it and supported me through the whole thing. Ireland's head was delivered and Kelly could tell the cord was wrapped around the neck a few times, but JQ was still able to deliver her. When she came out in the water, he slowly twirled her out of the cord, brought her out of the water, and handed her to me. I couldn't believe I was holding our baby. I was sobbing, without tears. I suppose I was so exhausted I couldn't physically cry. Ireland didn't cry when she was born, but she was healthy and perfect. She looked up at me and just stared and then started sucking on her thumb. "I did it! I can't believe I did it!" I don't know how many times I said that, but it had been so drilled into my head that I couldn't deliver a baby naturally after a C-section, but I did.

I hear many women say that a natural birth is a right of passage. I didn't understand until I did it myself. It is so different!!! The strength and courage I found within myself and in God and the way he created us is enlightening. My husband said I became more beautiful to him and he loved me more than ever after he watched me go through labor and birth. I can't explain how amazing the experience was and I would never do it any other way. I love Kelly and the services she provides. She is an amazing midwife and helped me have the most invigorating, amazing experience of my life. Thank you, Kelly, for everything you did for me and my family.

Midwife:
Kelly Miller, LM, CPM

http://www.divinedesignmidwife.com/



cutting the cord



Works Don't Work

So, it's been an interesting month to say the least. Jonathan and have been trying out a new church and became members last Sunday. It's a nondenominational church and I have to say, it is so nice to go somewhere to just worship and not worry about rules. Brandon, the pastor, just did a sermon a few Sundays ago I thought was fantastic! We are doing a series right now called "Freedom." His topic that Sunday was "Works Don't Work."
This is from our bulletin:
In Christ, we are free! We are free to live as children of God and not as people trying to earn forgiveness, but if we do not know we are free we will not live free. Galatians 1:1-5 (Talks about Paul not being sent of man or by men, but by God. Also, talks about Christ who gave Himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age according to the will of God. Basically this says, God gave us forgiveness through Christ and He sends those who love him to spread the message, not religion of man.) Romans 8:2 "...because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." (Christ has given me freedom from these laws. Why is man creating more laws that are not of Him?) Hebrews 11:6 "And without faith it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that He exists and that he rewards those who earnestly see Him." (without FAITH, not by working your way up the latter of religious regulations)
Religion is man's ATTEMPT to please God by adhering to rules. Galatians 1:6-7a "I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel-which is really no gospel at all." (The Gospel of Christ! Where in the Bible is there mention that a sinful man or saying this many hail Mary's can forgive you of your sins? Where in the Bible is there not freedom in worshiping with instruments, raising your hands, clapping in praise, or through only one single church or religion one will enter the gates of heaven? There is only grace, forgiveness, mercy, and power in Christ! Mary did not shed her blood, nor take on every single one of our sins. Neither did that sinful man whom some confess there sins to in hopes that he will send that message to God. God knows all, sees all, and created all. He created a Son who became our voice to God. He is the only person who can wash us clean from our sins and present us clean, pure, spotless, and holy to God. NO ONE ELSE can do that for us. If it were not so, then why is his name Savior and Redeemer of ALL.)
The problem with religion......
Religion brings CONFUSION. Galatians 1:7b-8 "Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. Even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned!" (speaks for itself)
Religion proved a system of MEASUREMENT and a false COMFORT....also known as pride. 2 Corinthians 10:12 "We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves, and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise." (Whom should we compare ourselves to but Christ? There is no other comparison for all on imperfect, but Him.)
Religion focuses on man's WORKS. Galatians 1:10 "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."
Religion is spelled "DO". Christianity is spelled "DONE." (All that is needed is your faith, your love, and your relationship with God. When you except Him, YOU ARE FREE!! There is nothing else you can do to become more of His child than this. He already did all the work for you. The only thing you have to "do" is believe and accept Him.)
Religion is man's attempt to reach GOD. Christianity is God's attempt to reach MAN. (He is reaching for us and all we have to do is step into His hands and instead we are using religion as a latter to heaven.)
Religion focuses on the EXTERNAL. Christianity focuses on the INTERNAL. (Religion causes us to put on a facade of perfection, but no matter how "good" we look on the outside, God knows the intentions of our heart. How can we compare the faith of our hearts? No one can tell externally, only God knows our spirit.) Galatians 1:11-13 "I want you to know, brother that the gospel I preached is not something that man made up. I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it; rather, I received it by revelation from Jesus Christ. For you have heard of my previous way of life in Judaism, how intensely I persecuted the church of God and tried to destroy it." Galatians 1: 15-16, 23-24
Don't let the idea of trying to earn God's approval slip back into your life. Instead let the Holy Spirit lead you into all the freedom you have been given in Jesus.

Questions to ask yourself:
1) How are you working to gain God's approval?
2) What have you been "adding" to Christianity?

Side note: I have been debating on posting this for a while. I have been feeling a tug to do so since I heard the message, but was afraid to offend people. Then I heard a "still small voice" say: "Trisha, the only approval you need is Mine. When you stand alone, I stand with you." Everything in quatations is mainly my thoughts, though some was taking from what I remember our pastor saying after each point.
So, for those who don't know, I grew up Church of Christ. A religion with extended rules and regulations. I grew up believing any other religion was bound for hell and I was to convert as many as possible to the church. There was no instruments allowed, if one praised God with raising of hands or clapping it was considered rude and inappropriate behavior, communion was to be taken every Sunday, prayers were 10-15 minutes long (I know there is a verse that talks about saying short prayers in public and long prayers alone so as to not "show off". Believe me, sometimes it feels like some men in this religion are showing off. One prayer lasted almost 30 minutes...really?!), and nothing was ever deeper than what lay upon the surface. I'm not being hateful, because many of my family still follow this religion and belong to the church. I'm not saying they are terrible people. As a matter of fact, members of this religion are usual the nicest you will ever meet. They are very loving people and love God. I changed my views when I sat down and read the Bible for myself. I started asking questions, which were either shot down or given scripture taken out of context and not compared with all scriptures. I don't believe God wanted us to worship in so many different religions. I hate the word "religion" in general. "One body, one church" is the phrase that often caught my attention. There is only ONE Savior, only ONE body broken, only ONE man who defeated Satan, only ONE risen, only ONE who washes us clean, only ONE way to forgiveness, and only ONE advocate for us whom can present us perfect despite our sin. Therefore, why would we enterprate that to mean there should be more than one way to become saved and stay saved, more than one way to forgiveness, more than one savior, more than one advocate, or more than one "religion" or church? He wants us to believe in Him and the sacrifice of His Son, build a relationship with Him, love Him, seek Him, commune with Him and His children, and tell others of His love and forgiveness. All He wants is for us to live by His Word, not by the words of man. Doesn't it seem quite obvious that Satan is using all these religions against us? There is not a single Christian religion out there that isn't angry at another or that doesn't get into arguements with the other. Why do we label ourselves Church of Christ, Baptist, Catholic, Protestant, etc. and place ourselves in tiny boxes when all God has labeled us is FORGIVEN and FREE?
So, again for those of you who don't kow me. My name is Trisha Quillin. I'm a Christian by day and by night. I love God and my Redeemer with all my heart and will serve Him until He calls me home. I will not be moved and refuse to call myself anything other than CHILD OF GOD! I am FORGIVEN and FREE and I choose to live no other way.
Agape,
Trisha

This song is so beautiful and I think embodies all of what this message says. My mom and I sing a slightly different a capella version (since it is a duet and not a choir). Yes, the melody is beautiful and the voices are pretty, but the words are the most touching and important. (Pause blog music on the media player at the bottom of this site page before playing video. Enjoy the song)
Song: How Could You Say No? (also known as Thorns On His Head)

My Mind's a Goin and This is What it's Thinking About

I decided to edit a lot of my posts. I didn't realize how public they were or how easy it was to google them. I'm not ashamed of what I wrote, because for me that is what happened. But I have decided it's about time to move forward. I heard something recently and I really like it. There is a reason the reerview mirror is so small and the windshield is so big. You can see what's behind you in your reerview, but it's small because what's behind you doesn't matter as much as what's in front of you. You can't forget your past, but you can move forward. God has so much planned for every single person and if you live in the past, you may never find out what He has for you in the future. Seems I've been driving looking at my reerview more than through my front window.
A lot can happen since I graduated in '05. I've married, had two children, several jobs, friends who have stayed and gone, and more drama than I would have liked. Time can also change people and their hearts, though. Trust is another something I wanted to talk about. Who deserves trust unless they build it? No one. Do I expect anyone to trust me? Absolutely not. Should I be expected to trust anyone? No, but I do hope that the future holds more trust than there is now. I've learned that forgiveness isn't earned, its right. Forgive and forget is not a good combo. I don't think anyone ever forgets, but they can forgive. What kind of life would I live if I didn't forgive those who have damaged me most? I would be bitter and angry and quite unpleasant to be around I'm assuming.
The thing is, I'm ready to move on and change my life and the lives of those around me. I'm tired of being afraid of nothing. If I place everything in His hands, what do I have to fear? Whom shall I fear?
Jeremiah 29:11-13 is one of my favorite passages when I feel I'm lost and don't know where to go or what to do.
^11" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” declares the LORD

No matter where I go or what I do, He has a plan for me. It's already written out. He will never give me more than I can handle, nor leave me to the dogs. He loves me and I Him. He wants to be found by me, all I need do is seek Him.
This video has hit me hard the last few months. I feel it should be for anyone who feels they can't change what is from this point forward.

This song gets me too. Sometimes your life goes by so fast and you pause and look back and wonder where it went. Then you sit and think I haven't done enough! I haven't done enough for the kindgdom of God, or for my family or friends. It all passes so quickly and our days on this earth are numbered. What can I do with the time God has given me today?

Heart broken and Confused

I've found out recently that I have a wider audience than my usuals. For those who don't know, this is my blog to express how I feel. This is how I deal with my feelings and emotions and is not to cut down any one. Only my friends truely read the blog up to this point.
My husband, Jonathan, has been wanting to adopt Eviana since the day he asked me to marry him. Though, I also wanted this, at the time I had been in contact with her biological father and wanted to give him the opportunity to be a part of her life. Unfortunately, after two years of refusing to contact me or his daughter, I feel he has had his chance to live up to that title and he hasn't. I told him I would not force him to be a father and he would have to prove himself. The door was left open for him and he chose to walk away. There is nothing more to that. I could go on and on about how wrong that was and unfair to Eviana it was, but I'm sure that alone speaks for itself.
Recently, Jonathan and I have come into some money and now have the option for JQ to adopt Eviana. Although papers don't mean everything, Jonathan wants her to carry his last name. There is no doubt who Eviana's daddy is to her or anyone else. For the last several months I have been sending Jordan emails to please contact me. Unfortunately my phone was stollen and I no longer have his phone number, so that was not an option. After those attempts failed, I contacted his sister-in-law through facebook, which I was very uncomfortable doing. She said she would pass on the message and I still did not hear from Jordan. I then sent an email to Debbie and Loyce (his parents), but I'm now assuming it was no longer a good email address for them. This email stated......
Debbie and Loyce,
I hope this is still a good email address for you. Contacting you is my last
resort and I'm sorry it has come to this. I have tried several avenues of
contacting Jordan with no success. I even sent Carrie a message and she said she
would give him all my information, but there has still been no response. I have
not heard from Jordan since early in 2009 and he stopped contacting me after I
told him I was getting married. My phone has been stollen since, which had his
contact number. I have tried emailing him as well, but this has come to be
fruitless. I know this avenue worked last time in getting in touch with
him. If you could please give him my number and email I would really appreciate
it. My cell is .......... Thank you for your time. If you feel ok giving me
another way to contact him, I would appreciate it. I have some things to
discuss with him about Eviana eventually.
Sincerely,
Trisha 
My husband and I finally became desperate enough to contact Jordan, that we found as many of his friends and family who knew me on facebook and sent them a message to give Jordan my number and tell him I wanted to speak to him. We also found a possible work number for his mom and I tried it. To my surprise, she answered the phone. I will say that conversation changed everything I thought and had been led to believe up to this point. I have been led to believe, besides a short sentence from Jordan that his mother was slightly interested in Eviana, that everyone in his family hated and despised me and wanted nothing to do with me or Eviana. I was unwelcome and they didn't believe she was even his child, which apparently is still true to an extent (not being his). Through my conversation with Debbie, I found this was the complete opposite and that they have wanted everything to do with her, but Jordan had led them to believe that I wanted nothing to do with them, they had no right to see her, and I refused to let there be any form of communication.
Let me say now and make it very clear, that was not the case. In my blogs I posted my emails to Jordan and his to me. I have told him anything he wants to know when I was asked and even when I wasn't. Do I expect them to believe me? No. They haven't known me for four years, why should they? I don't blame them for choosing what he said over me, but I do have proof. Debbie also asked me why I didn't try to contact just her and rebuild that relationship. Of course my answer was: "why would I do that if I was led to believe you want nothing to do with me?" And to answer that question further, I've been hurt just as much as you have, why would I hurt myself more by calling someone I thought hated me? A question I didn't pose: You are blaming me for not trying to contact you, why, if you wanted so badly to be a part of her life did you not dedicated every ounce of your being into finding a way to do that yourself?
In short the conversation was about 45 minutes long with tears on both sides and hopefully now she knows my true intentions. I want that relationship and communication to be open. If they want to be in her life, then that is fine with me and I have no reason not to allow it. I cried for another 10 minutes after the call ended from sheer amazement, anger that Jordan has kept this from happening sooner, questioning everything that has been, and regretting that I didn't do this sooner.
I received an answer, not from Jordan, but from his wife through facebook. Which by the way means nothing because I have to hear it from him.

I agree completely that from this point on broken bridges could be repaired and a relationship built. I can't even express how happy I am that I talked to her. Though the beginning was a rough conversation, in the end it was exactly what it needed to be: honest. Second, it makes me sick at my stomach to sit and read not only that Jordan refuses to sign over his rights, but that he has always loved his little girl and wants to be a part of her life. REALLY?! Excuse my language, but if that's true, where the HELL have you been?! He cannot sit and tell me that when every single action and choice he's made says the COMPLETE opposite. He's lied to everyone this whole time and he expects me to believe that? I don't think so.
Jonathan is a good, Christian, loving, and forgiving man. We both agree that if Jordan's family wants to be in Eviana's life that we have no right not to let them do so. We have been praying for this for a long time. Jonathan is the only daddy Eviana has ever known. She is a daddy's girl and loves him so very much. He has raised her since we started dating and claims her as his own. He has every right to adopt her and give her his last name. There is no question that Jonathan is her daddy, but to have it on paper would make him more than happy. He has put in the time, effort, money and love that Jordan has not. He has given her more than Jordan ever offered her and for him to take this away from Jonathan and myself is just selfish. He hasn't had anything to do with her, so why is he so interested now (at least his family is....he has yet to contact me). She doesn't deserve it and neither does my husband. I'm dissappointed and heartbroken, but all I can do is pray that someday Jordan will do what is best for Eviana. Even if it's the only good decision he makes for her. I want him to understand I won't shut him or any of his family out of her life. We want them to be a part, but it's wrong to hold her back from the only man who has been there for her. I'm heart broken and confused. He shouldn't have waited until it was too late. Now my little girl has to suffer for it.

Dancing with Daddy

Giggling



Tickle War



Mom, HELP! lol

She's got him now

Silly Girl

Valentine's Day

Glee Pose lol backwards

Attitude!!

We had a Princess day with

Makeup and curly hair





The Trenton Pose



Cutie Pie

 

Goober



My sweet Girl

Innocent, Sweet, Loving, and Loved

"I'm not like most men when I get married.
Some call it baggage, but I call it a package deal."

"I'm lucky. I get two girls instead of one. This ring symbolizes that you are my daughter and will never leave you. I love you."















Ireland: The Pregnancy

Jonathan and I wanted to get pregnant pretty quickly after we got married. My periods had been irregular since I had gotten off the depot shot over a year before. Around the time I knew I might miss a period, I started taking pregnancy tests. The first and second test I took within three days of each other. They both came out negative and I was upset about it. Jonathan told me it was okay, though, and we would just keep trying. After a few more days, I still hadn't started me period, so before work I took one more test. To my surprise, it came out a very faint positive. I was so excited and couldn't wait to tell Jonathan and everyone else. Eviana happened to wake up just as I was coming out of the bathroom and I told her to go tell her daddy she was going to be a big sister. She got really excited and ran in our room to tell him. A huge smile formed on his face and he looked at me in complete surprise.

"Really?!" I shook my head yes and he gave me a big hug. We had Eviana call his parents and mine to tell them the same news. Everyone was so happy and excited for us. The girls at work and my boss were happy for us, too. And so, life continued with a new life growing inside me.
At the end of December, we decided to start looking for doctors. JQ wasn't fond of the out of hospital idea at first. So he asked me to check some doctors out before I started looking for a midwife. I called Shannon and Community Hospitals and started asking about doctors and the prices I should expect to pay. The doctor and hospital bills were separate, but on average the cost would be anywhere from $12,00-$21,00. The lowest cost of course being vaginal delivery and the highest being a C-Section. I let them know that I was going to be a VBAC and the answer was always the same.

"Well, we can always try a vaginal delivery, but most likely it will be another C-Section, so that is what you should prepare for."  This wasn't okay with me. The more answers like that we got, the more frustrated we became. It was clear that no doctor was going to be comfortable with monitoring a VBAC. Soon, the idea of a midwife was easier for JQ to handle. He knew it was what I really wanted and would make me happy. I called the closest midwife I could find, but she was based in another town a few hours away. She led me to Kelly Miller, who was a practicing midwife new to San Angelo. I called Kelly a few days later. She answered the few questions I had and gave me a cost of $3,700. The cost was slightly higher because I would be a VBAC. This cost of course did not include the birthing pool and any vitamins I would need to take during the pregnancy. (The birthing pool is not required, but I wanted a water birth.) Kelly and I set up an appointment to meet at my house so that we could get to know her and decide if she was what we were looking for before we started care.

22 Weeks

During our introduction appointment, Kelly informed us all of the appointments would be held at our home and also answered any questions we might have. JQ had a lot more questions than I did, but she laid most of his concerns to rest. We decided that this was the care for us and our baby. We really liked Kelly and everything she had to offer. Kelly gave us several books to read to inform us on natural home births, VBAC's, and other birth stories. She wanted us to be educated and that was very important. She informed us of any risks there might be, but the positives outweighed any of the low percentage risks.

34 weeks

My pregnancy went very well. My job required me to stand, walk, and lean over most of the day, so by the time I got home from work I was exhausted. My legs hurt the most and circulation wasn't at its best, but Kelly gave me some natural pills and lotions to help with my varicose veins. She constantly checked for all the signs of pre-eclampsia and kept me on point with my diet, water intake, and rest. Kelly was always a phone call or text away if I had any questions or concerns. Around my 18-20th week of gestation we had a sonogram done at a college to check on the baby, but mainly to find out the sex. The baby looked beautiful, was growing wonderfully and was a GIRL!!!!! Jonathan decided to name her Ireland Rain Quillin.
Eviana was so excited to be a big sister. She would kiss and hug my belly, talk and sing to it, and asked me almost everyday if sister was coming out of my tummy yet. During our appointments, Eviana wanted to be a part of everything. Kelly let her turn on the heart monitor, took her blood pressure along with mine, and let her listen to the baby with her special stethoscope.

37 Weeks

My due date was August 17, and when that day arrived there was still no baby. I was still working and my co-workers were afraid I was going to explode at any second. I was still only dilated to 1 cm and there were no real contractions, although there were several false labors. Thursday, August 19 was my last day at work. I was still pregnant and everyone said they'd pray it would happen soon. I was so ready for this baby to be born. I was miserable, waddled like a penguin, and felt like I would be pregnant forever! That night JQ and I were talking about the baby and he encouraged me through my disappointment. As I was getting ready in the bathroom, I felt some leakage and was afraid I had peed on myself. Embarrassed I didn't say anything at first, but then realized I kept leaking.
"Jonathan? Um, I think my water broke!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yea, I'm pretty sure."
I called the midwife to let her know and then called the family. I thought I felt a contraction about 15 minutes after my water had broken, but there were no more after that. Kelly advised me to get some sleep before labor started and to call her if there were any changes. I was elated that the time was finally here, but also extremely nervous. What would everything feel like? When would she be born? Could I do this? YES, yes I can. I went to sleep easily, but had no idea what the next few days had in store for me. ......to be continued.....

Ireland Rain: Birth Story-Midwife's Story

My midwife for this pregnancy was Kelly Miller and I would recommend her to absolutely anyone!!! I haven't finished writing my point of view, so I thought I might give you a quick preview with her point of view. If you would like her information, please send me a message and I will get it to you ASAP.

"Trisha's water broke Thursday night and they began to prepare for labor and birth. Family was called to come to town, but she had no contractions. On Saturday morning she tried stimulating contractions with the breast pump. As long as she used it she had contractions, but they didn't stay consistent after stopping the stimulation four hours later. Trisha and JQ went for a walk, came home, took a nap, tried to relax, and let labor happen. A lot of family came over for breakfast and continued to be in and out all day.

At 6:30pm, Trisha and JQ sent everyone to other locations and decided to bring Eviana home. They had a relaxing evening at home as a family and waited patiently for baby. After watching a movie and putting Eviana to bed, contraction began quickly! At 10:36pm, JQ called to report contractions every 3 minutes lasting 60+ seconds. Trisha was feeling nauseated during UC's and was irritable about any outside stimulation, such as noise. When I arrived she was in a great labor pattern and handling labor wonderfully!

We began to get the birth pool ready for her and she got in at 11:56pm. She liked being on her knees , leaning over the side and was able to rest some that way. She liked massage by JQ on her lower back at this time. After an hour she decided to try laying in bed to rest. She was able to do that pretty well for a couple of hours. Then we did the first of two vaginal exams. She was a 6, 70% effaced and baby was at -1 station. Great progress!

Trisha continued to work wonderfully with her body and mind during contractions, moving as she needed, resting when she could, and letting labor happen beautifully. She got back in the birth pool at 5:24am and gave the first slight push at 5:30am. She pushed 100% physiologically and followed guidance well. Ireland Rain was born just 32 minutes later with NO tears [vaginal tearing], but lots of tears. : D

The cord was wrapped around her neck 2 1/2 times, but wasn't too tight. JQ handed the baby to Trisha and she sat back to enjoy her. The placenta delivered just ten minutes later with quite a bit of bleeding, so the cord was cut and Trisha got out of the pool and into bed. Bleeding was minimal at that point and Trisha felt great and went on to enjoy a great post-partum with Ireland and all the family."
Kelly Miller LM, CPM

My Sweet Husband Jonathan

After Eviana was born, I really didn't want to date anyone for a while. I wanted to be cautious with whom I had relations. After Eviana was about 8 months old, I started branching out in the dating world. I ended up choosing completely wrong and fell into a rut of unfaithful guys who didn't appreciate me in the least. I found myself in a deep depression of loneliness, self-doubt, and almost felt unworthy of anyone. I would cry all the time, shut out a lot of people, and shut myself in. I didn't think I would find anyone who could love me AND my daughter. I had a history and "baggage", as people like to put it, and someone would have to willfully choose to join me. I had a child and I had emotional issues that carved deep gouges in my soul. They would have to tear down my facade of strength and independence and deal with who I really was inside.

I have a life history that I choose to never share publicly, but I seemed to be the kind of girl who gave and gave and gave even though I received nothing in return. I was afraid to lose the person that I cared so much about so I stopped expecting things in return and just tried to be perfect so they didn't want to leave me. This, though, did not seem to work either. I started dating one person in particular, right before I met my husband, that I devoted myself to entirely. I loved him deeply and was disrespected by him all the time. He wanted a relationship with me without a title. It was a love/hate game for the two of us and it seems to have always been that way. We would love each other completely one week and the next we were beating each other up with hateful words that cut like a knife to the core of our hearts. It seems neither one of us wanted to hurt the other, but ended up doing so anyway. I'm a forgiver and mender. I don't like being angry with people and in the end I just want a friendly relationship, which is probably why I have a good relationship with all my exes except for two. After this man, I found Jonathan. Or should I say God showed him to me and I to him. Apparently I had met him several times, but I honestly only remember actually seeing him once before. It's like God clouded my eyes until it was the right time.

It seems comical now, the events leading up to the point at which I finally noticed Jonathan. I had been jogging with Jonathan's cousin, Marcus, and Emily (Marcus is an ex-boyfriend who had become a good friend at this point). Marcus had a major asthma attack and lost consciousness, so his mother called Jonathan. Since Jonathan is a firefighter/paramedic, he knew what to do in that situation and helped us get Marcus breathing on his own. After that, we all started talking and invited him to come with us to celebrate Emily's birthday. We sat by each other during the movie and across from each other during the birthday dinner. He thought Eviana was adorable and played and talked to her during dinner. I found myself becoming shy. I remember thinking, "Why am I feeling shy? I don't like him! I don't even know him! Do I like him?!" He was so sweet and a complete gentleman, and I thought he was very cute.

Marcus's mom, Jill, decided to try and hook us up. It turns out Jonathan actually felt a little connection, too, so he called me and asked me on a date. It was the night before my 22nd birthday, September 16, 2008. He took me to a movie we both thought was ridiculous, Tropic Thunder, and then we had some coffee and conversation at Starbucks. I found myself feeling absolutely comfortable with this person I hardly knew. I opened up to him and he to me and everything was effortless. Around midnight we parted ways and went home. The next week we found out more about the other and I started to realize that I really liked him. A week after our first date, he asked me to be his girlfriend and we shared our first kiss. The longer I dated Jonathan, the more qualities I found in him that I wanted in a husband. He had his faults, as I did, but he stood for more than most of the previous men I had dated. He was a devout Christian with strong beliefs. He also loved my daughter as much as he loved me, and Eviana took to him very easily and loved him as well. Eviana always seemed to have that spirit of knowing when someone was good and she thought her "Jonanen" was wonderful.



The Engagement Ring



Jonathan and I started talking about marriage and the possibility of it. He had been searching for his wife for a long time and, secretly, I hoped that I was her. Even though we talked of a life together, I wasn't sure Jonathan was going to ask me. Every time I thought he was going to, he didn't, and my mom and I were beginning to wonder if he was. He always told me that he wanted to propose when I least expected it. Before Valentine's Day, Jonathan went into Dallas with a friend of his and I found out he was doing a lot of shopping. So, I verbalized that I thought he might ask me on Valentine's Day since he was "shopping" all over the place. Well, apparently that was what he was doing, but he found out my suspicions and devised a way to get me off his trail. He called me right before he was going to head home and told me he had everything planned for Mother's Day and he was excited about it. This was a good move on his part, because, of course, I thought he would ask me on Mother's Day instead. I was off his trail and he continued with his plan.



It's Official!

When Valentine's Day rolled around we headed into Flower Mound and had an evening planned with two other couples. We went shopping for a dress for myself earlier in the day and then got ready for the evening. His dad took pictures of us on our first Valentine's Day and then we headed out to dinner. We went to a fine dining restaurant, Good Hugh's Fire Pit Grill, which is sadly now closed. The food was expensive and magnificent. We opened and tasted 7-8 bottles of wine between all the couples and you don't even want to know what the tab was! Lindsey, now my sister-in-law, asked me to come to the bathroom with her when we were finished eating our main course. While we were in the bathroom, Jonathan was telling everyone at the table the plan for his proposal. I just want all of you to know I was completely oblivious. I had no clue what was going to happen that night. We came back out to the table and Lindsey said she wanted to take a picture (she was really recording the event that was about to take place). We all scooched in close and Jonathan was sitting strangely, so I looked over at him and he was down on one knee. He said, "Trisha Mathes, I love you. I always have and always will. There's no doubt in my mind that you are the woman I am suppose to be with for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?"



Jonathan giving Eviana a ring to symbolize
becoming her Daddy



To which I responded, "REALLY?! HERE?! NOW?!......YES!!!" I told you I was in shock. I had no clue he was going to ask me, but he did and I was completely happy. I cried and couldn't believe that I was going to marry this wonderful man and be with him forever. When we came home a few days later, it seemed God had already told Eviana Jonathan would be her dad. When we walked in the door, she ran to me and gave me a hug and then ran to Jonathan and called him daddy for the first time. It brought a tear to my eye and I knew I was with the man God intended for me.



Jonathan and I got married on November 13, 2009 in Fort Worth, TX at the Marty Leonard Community Chapel. I became Jonathan's wife and Eviana became his daughter. We honeymooned in Colorado for a week and it was amazing! Jonathan and I have had trials and tribulations, but through it all we stand strong together and I couldn't ask for a better partner in life. He is a wonderful husband and father and I don't know how I ever lived without him. Jonathan and I wanted to have a baby soon after we got married. About a month or so after our wedding, I found out I was pregnant. I can't tell you how excited we all were, including Eviana. What a blessing it would be to show our love through a child.

Our New Family